Praying for Marriages (PfM)

Please join us this week in praying for marriages facing retirement.  Retirement, whether the retirement of one or both spouses, can be a significant stressor in a marriage.  Even when the retirement is a free choice and comes at a planned time, it creates changes in schedules, changes in relationships and changes in routine. All these changes, even when desired, carry some level of stress.  When the retirement is forced by an employer or ill health or comes at an inconvenient time (like when retirement savings have taken a plunge), the stress can be even greater. Some level of discomfort in a marriage at retirement time is often experienced just because many people just don’t handle change well, even positive change.  Change means unknowns and unknowns create fear in many people.  A fearful spouse or a fearful couple does not bode well for marital harmony. And of course we have all heard of occasions when someone has eagerly anticip...

In light of Valentine’s Day, I should have done this last week, but better late than never.   Take this week to pray for your own marriages. Sometimes we focus our prayer attention on others, and that is as it should be, but we should not forget our own marriages.   They should be brought to our Lord frequently, with all their joys and sorrows, successes and failures, beauty and warts. So, please join us in spending this week focusing on our own marriages, asking our God to make of them what is pleasing to Him. 

Please join us this week in praying for married couples on the mission field.  Couples on the mission field often experience a number of stressful situations all at the same time.  They are separated from family and friends; they are immersed in a new and strange culture; they are starting a new job; they are establishing a new home; and, on top of all that, they are often learning a new language.  Just one of these situations can create difficulties.  All of them together almost guarantee some degree of marital conflict. Many times conflict will arise because the spouses adjust to all the changes differently or at least at different rates.  One may have difficulty with homesickness; one may have a harder time with the language; and one may make cultural adjustments with less ease than the other.  The more out of balance the couples’ adjustments are the more likely it is conflicts will arise. Also, if an adjustment period in any of these a...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages dealing with the military deployment of a spouse.  Although there are many elements of military life that can affect a marriage, probably none affects the couple more than the separation of deployment. Just preparing for the deployment of a spouse can be stressful for the marriage. During this preparation period it is not unusual for the couple to become emotionally and physically detached.  This detachment may be an unconscious defense against sadness of the coming separation that would otherwise be too emotionally hard to bear.  The anticipation of the deployment can also be accompanied by fear, fear of the unknown, fear of never seeing the departing spouse again and even the fear of facing daily life alone. Once the deployment occurs emotions can fluctuate wildly:  relief that the good-bye is over; resentment of being abandoned; guilt for abandoning; excitement about accomplishing a mission...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that are dealing with the workaholic tendencies of a spouse.  A workaholic is often defined as one who works compulsively.  When a workaholic is in a marriage, his/her compulsive tendencies can create serious difficulties.  Examples of issues brought about by a workaholic spouse are a low degree of spousal interaction, limited emotional connection, an absence of sexual intimacy, a lack of common interests, loneliness and isolation. It is no wonder the spouse of a workaholic can become convinced he/she is not cherished or valued by the work-driven spouse.  All needs, interests and dreams take second place to the workaholic’s job.  When children are involved, stresses increase even more as the workaholic habitually misses significant events and family functions, leaving the spouse to be the children’s sole support and forcing the spouse to explain away the workaholic’s absence. Finally, the...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which one spouse is passing through an unexplainable dark time that is emotionally and physically debilitating. A large part of the difficulty of this situation is its mysterious genesis.  The fact that the cause is unknown to either spouse can cause both to feel helpless:  the afflicted spouse can feel helpless to explain the problem and the care-giving spouse can feel helpless to provide what is needed to relieve the suffering. Many times the suffering spouse can experience a palpable darkness that separates him/her from God, spouse and friends.  The suffering spouse can also become convinced the darkness will never lift, leading to dejection and a sense of hopelessness.  As this situation lingers, the care-giving spouse can begin to suffer as well, since his/her partner is in no position to meet his/her needs or share in bearing the responsibilities of daily living. Finally, this life-si...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which the spouses are dealing with the recent death of one of their parents. Although the death of a parent fits within the “normal” pattern of a person’s life experience, it is still an event that can create stresses in marriages.  These stresses can be accentuated if the death is sudden or untimely.  The child of the deceased, though a married adult, may still experience profound loss and even feel cheated that the parent did not live to fulfill long-anticipated roles such as being a grandparent to his/her children. As with any grief experienced by a married couple, strife can arise if the individuals express grief differently or have different ideas concerning the impact of an parent’s death.  Consequently, these times of loss can cause marital conflict if a spouse does not demonstrate in words and actions the compassion and support the grieving spouse needs and expects. If the death...