Praying for Marriages (PfM)

This week please remember in prayer those married couples who are living through the loss of a job. In addition to the financial pressures a job loss can bring to a marriage, it can also cause the one who has lost the job to question his or her self-worth. If a new job does not materialize quickly, hope can be lost and, when hope is lost, inertia can set in and eventually lead to deep depression. If both spouses have been working, the spouse who is still employed will often attempt to make up some of the income loss by working more hours. This response, though helpful in closing the income gap, can inadvertently create a feeling of guilt in the life of the spouse who has lost the job, while at the same time exhaust the spouse who is taking on the extra work, particularly if the situation continues for an extended time. Inertia, depression, guilt and exhaustion are all negative effects of job loss, each of which can cause marriages to spiral out of control,...

This week we are taking a slight turn for the holidays. Of course we want you to pray for marriages this coming week, but we would like you to pray particularly for the marriages of those people you will be with during Christmas and/or as 2019 draws to a close. In many cases those will be the marriages of family and friends, marriages into which you have more intimate insight and for which you can pray with more specificity than normal. On the other hand, you may have had or will yet still have occasion to spend time with new acquaintances about whose marriages you know little. Regardless, all these marriages will benefit from your intercession. So, even in this busy season, take time to lift up these marriages to our Lord who is actively about the work of renewing all things. We hope you have a blessed Christmas and you experience the full goodness of God as you seek to live obediently before Him in 2020.

Please join us this week in praying for marriages facing retirement. Retirement, whether the retirement of one or both spouses, can be a significant stressor in a marriage. Even when the retirement is a free choice and comes at a planned time, it creates changes in schedules, relationships and routines. All these changes, even when desired, carry some level of stress. When the retirement is forced by an employer or ill health or comes at an inconvenient time (like when retirement savings have taken a plunge), the stress can be even greater. Some level of discomfort in a marriage at retirement time is often experienced because many people just don’t handle change well, even positive change. Change means unknowns and unknowns create fear in many people. A fearful spouse or a fearful couple does not bode well for marital harmony. And of course we have all heard of occasions when someone has eagerly anticipated retirement only to be dissatisfied, restless and...

Please join us this week in praying for married couples on the mission field.  Couples on the mission field often experience a number of stressful situations all at the same time. They are separated from family and friends; they are immersed in a new and strange culture; they are starting a new job; they are establishing a new home; and, on top of all that, they are often learning a new language. Just one of these situations can create difficulties. All of them together almost guarantee some degree of marital conflict. Many times conflict will arise because the spouses adjust to all the changes differently or at least at different rates. One may have difficulty with homesickness; one may have a harder time with the language; and one may make cultural adjustments with less ease than the other. The more out of balance the couples’ adjustments, the more likely it is conflicts will arise. Also, if an adjustment period in any of these areas is ...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages dealing with the military deployment of a spouse. Although there are many elements of military life that can affect a marriage, probably none affects the couple more than the separation of deployment. Just preparing for the deployment of a spouse can be stressful for the marriage. During this preparation period it is not unusual for the couple to become emotionally and physically detached. This detachment may be an unconscious defense against the sadness of the coming separation. The anticipation of the deployment can also be accompanied by fear, fear of the unknown, fear of never seeing the departing spouse again and even the fear of facing daily life alone. Once the deployment occurs, emotions can fluctuate wildly:  relief that the good-bye is over; resentment of being abandoned; guilt for abandoning; excitement about accomplishing a mission; or deep and debilitating loneliness. When the deployment is during wartime, ...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages dealing with the workaholic tendencies of a spouse. A workaholic is often defined as one who works compulsively. When a workaholic is in a marriage, his/her compulsive tendencies can create serious difficulties. Examples of issues brought about by a workaholic spouse are a low degree of spousal interaction, limited emotional connection, an absence of sexual intimacy and insufficient opportunities to enjoy common interests, all of which can lead to loneliness and isolation. It is no wonder the spouse of a workaholic can become convinced he/she is not cherished or valued by the work-driven spouse. All needs, interests and dreams take second place to the workaholic’s job. When children are involved, stresses increase even more as the workaholic habitually misses significant events and family functions, leaving the spouse to be the children’s sole support and forcing the spouse to explain away the workaholic’s...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which the spouses are dealing with the recent death of one of their parents. Although the death of a parent fits within the “normal” pattern of a person’s life experience, it is still an event that can create stresses in a marriage. These stresses can be accentuated if the death is sudden or untimely. The child of the deceased, though a married adult, may still experience profound loss and even feel cheated that the parent did not live to fulfill long-anticipated roles (for example, being a grandparent to his/her children). As with any grief experienced by a married couple, strife can arise if the individuals express or react to grief differently or have different expectations concerning the impact of a parent’s death. Consequently, these times of loss can cause marital conflict if a spouse does not demonstrate in words and actions the compassion and support the grieving spouse may need or expect. ...